You know you’re addicted to blog when you exhibit any or all of the following symptoms:

You never leave home without your camphone/digicam

You practice your best smile in the mirror because your blog has your face all over it, with your sweetheart in it

you think blogging has become the perfect cure for your insomnia

You think ”Blog!” before going to sleep and upon waking up

Yes! You do it even in the office

Five of your friends have not been talking to you because of the unpleasant things you wrote about them in your blog

while three pals idolize you for having a techno-geek, oh-my-gawd-you-can-actually-compose-those-paragraphs image

You never fail to tell your friends/ relatives to check out your site in school/family reunions.

You have a business card with your blog addy in it

you’re now even thinking of owning a shirt inscribed with “Certified Blogger”

when you go to an exciting place/experience something new, you immediately think about how you’re going to blog about it

….while the manager of the restaurant is giving you that strange look

you’ve actually stood up dates and appointments with your friends to spend more time on the computer

most of the new friends you made in the past few months are not from your workplace, school

you check your stats counter every so often, complete with a look up on the domain/IP address of the visitor

you think that Google Adsense can become your primary employer (well of course, dream on)

you forget to shower, comb even sleep

you’ve actually typed “how to cure blog addiction” or “Signs to blog addiction” on Yahoo and google search to post it in your blog

Ask for link exchange

Do more blogwalking than actual walking(exercise)

Valuable Life-Lessons for Bloggers:Practice Etiquette and Self-Restraint. Think twice before hitting ‘Publish’ Button. Realize that you have another life, probably a life more important, than blogging

You Know You’re Getting To Be a Blog Stalker When…

when you have a blogger-friend, you never call or message her anymore. You just read her blog and ping in her/his tagboard

when you do call or message your blogger-friend, you inject your conversations with “well, I read in your blog that…”

you never know the blogger from Eve, and yet you already know the name of her pet dog and what her fave restaurants are

you email the blogger when she hasn’t posted for a week

you check the site every 10 or so minutes as a form of reflex reaction especially when there is a comment with her/his url in it.

you think you already know most parts of a blogger’s life from what you read in her site (not true at all!) or just a mere review from an advertiser

you click one of his/her ads thinking that it is still related/directed to her topic /post.

Valuable Life-Lessons for Stalkers: Bloggers need TLC too, traffic, pagerank etc . Make your presence felt and don’t just read our sites.  If you know him/her personally and care for him/here… tell him/her that it is still not too late to enjoy life, take him/her somewhere far from an internet connection.

Source: Aja

Best Out of Office Messages:
1- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3- Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
4- I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 5/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5- Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6- The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
7- Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8- Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
9- I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
10- Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
11- Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.
12- I’ve run away to join a different circus.
13- AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Anthony’

“As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn’t as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.”
Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949.

“Java is C++ without the guns, knives, and clubs”
James Gosling, co-inventor of Java

“Keyboard not found. Press < F1 > to RESUME. “
Source unknown (appears in many common BIOSes as a real error message)

“There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.”
unknown

“There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those who know ternary, those who don’t and those who confuse it with binary.”
unknown

“A language that doesn’t have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do”
Dennis M. Ritchie

“Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later”
F. Brooks, The Mythical Man-Month.

“Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you live.”
Martin Golding

“Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.”
Bruce Brown

“Base eight is just like base ten really, if you’re missing two fingers.”
Tom Lehrer

“Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.”
Ralph Johnson

“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.”
Donald Knuth

“bug, n: An elusive creature living in a program that makes it incorrect. The activity of “debugging”, or removing bugs from a program, ends when people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed.”
“Datamation”, January 15, 1984

“C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.”
Dennis M. Ritchie

“Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses.”
Eric Warmenhoven

“Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.”
Brian W. Kernighan

“Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.”
Dick Brandon

“Don’t get suckered in by the comments— they can be terribly misleading. Debug only code.”
Dave Storer

“He who hasn’t hacked assembly language as a youth has no heart. He who does as an adult has no brain.”
John Moore

“I mean, if 10 years from now, when you are doing something quick and dirty, you suddenly visualize that I am looking over your shoulders and say to yourself: ‘Dijkstra would not have liked this’, well that would be enough immortality for me.”
Edsger Dijkstra

“If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.”
Edsger Dijkstra

“If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.”
Norm Schryer

“Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.”
Dave Platt

“Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it.”
Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)

“Once you’re done writing the code, never open it again unless you want to see how uncomprehensible and utterly ridiculous it really is.”
Raphael Sazonov

“Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.”
Isaac Asimov

“Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”
Michael Sinz

“Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist.”
F. L. Bauer

“The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a non-typed language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language.”
Ron Sercely

“The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.”
Robert R. Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory

“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.”
Nathaniel Borenstein

“The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?”
Tom Carey

“The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense”
Edsger Dijkstra

“Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed.”
Bob Gray

1. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of 3.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in
years.

3. You accidentally enter your password on the
microwave.

4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to
you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friendsis
that they do
not have e-mail addresses.

6. When you go home after a long day at work you still
answer the
phone in a business manner.

7. When you make phone calls from home, you
accidentally dial “0″
to get an outside line.

8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and
worked for three
different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock
news.

11. Contractors out number permanent staff and are
more likely to
get long-service awards.

12. AND THE REAL CLINCHERS ARE…

13. You read! this entire list, and kept nodding and
smiling.

14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding
it to
your “friends”.

15. You got this email/post/article from a friend that never talks
to you
anymore, except to send/post jokes from the net.

16. You are too busy to notice there was no No. 9.

17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there
wasn’t a
No.9.

18. And now you are laughing at yourself!

Behind every successful man is a woman.

In the case of Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao, there are several women, one of them being his supermom, Dionisia Pacquiao, now better known not just as Aling Dionisia but for the more sosyal monicker Mommy Dionisia.

A scene-stealer in her own right, Mommy Dionisia never fails to keel over into a dead faint everytime she watches Pacman fight, clutching a rosary and fervently praying to her favorite Sto. Niño to spare her son from the punches.

She became an overnight celebrity in the wake of Pacman’s recent title bout with Ricky Hatton (knocked out in the second round) when she marked her belated “debut” at 60 with a bongga party in their native GenSan, dancing as if there were no tomorrows and changing designer clothes no less than five times. The event (yes, it was an EVENT) was covered “live” by TV, with Pacman, the dutiful and pampering son, watching with gleeful approval from the sidelines, happily leaving the spotlight to his mom. A new Dancing Queen was born.

Two Saturdays ago, Conversations caught Mommy Dionisia at the dressing room of the new GMA Studios being made up for her dancing exhibition on Startalk with her favorite D.I. (Dance Instructor), wearing the red dress that she said was given to her by Lucy Torres when she guested on Lucy’s TV5 show Shall We Dance?.

Mommy Dionisia turned out to be quite a delight even off the dancefloor.

To retain the flavor and the flow, Conversations is retelling the free-flowing exchange as is, in Visayan-Tagalog that is.

Hindi na daw Aling Dionisia ang tawag sa’yo ngayon.

“Hindi na. Mommy Dionisia na. Ang spelling ng pangalan ko, panay ‘i,’ walang ‘e’. D-I-O-N-I-S-I-A. Dionisia.”

Aware ka ba na celebrity ka na ngayon?

“Siempre. Hindi naman mapigilan ‘yan, eh. Ako ang nagbigay buhay sa anak kong si Manny kaya kung gaano siya kasikat ganoon din ako.”

Hindi ka ba naba-bother na maraming nakakakilala sa’yo kapag lumalabas ka?

“Okay lang kapag nasa mall ako at maraming nagha-’Hi!’ sa akin at kumakaway. Mga fans ko sila, eh.”

Talaga bang mahilig na kayong sumayaw from way back?

“Oo naman. Basta type mo ang sayaw, madali kang matuto at maturuan.”

Anu-anong dance ang type mo?

“Tango, Cha-Cha, Boogie at Swing. Ang unang tinuro sa akin ng mga D.I. ay Swing.”

Linawin natin, Mommy Dionisia, ha. Nanliligaw daw ba sa’yo ang D.I. mo?

“A, hindi totoo. ‘Yung humahawak sa akin ngayon, bagong D.I. ko. ‘Yung dati, nag-abroad daw. Pinalitan ko dahil hindi niya kaya ang mga lifting. Maliit lang kasi siya, eh.”

Bakit, mabigat ka ba?

“Hindi. Ang weight ko 45 kilos lang. Matagal kami hindi nakasayaw. Sabi niya, ‘Mommy, bumigat ka’.”

What’s your height ba?

“Ay, nakalimutan ko. Nandoon sa cedula ko.”

Paano mo mini-maintain ang figure mo?

“Naga-gym ako sa GenSan, doon sa mall.”

Ano pang ibang workout mo? Hindi ba kayo nagba-boxing ni Manny?

“Hindi. Dancing lang talaga ang exercise ko. Tinuruan ko nga si Manny pero hindi siya marunong. Malambot man ang katawan niya. Sa bahay, naga-workout din ako habang nanonood ng aerobic na video. Anim na posisyon ‘yon. Ginagaya ko.”

At ano naman ang diet mo?

“Ang pagkain ko, control; hindi sobra. Sa breakfast, normal lang. Hindi man ako magkain ng chichiria kasi bawal. Ang favorite food ko? Seafood.”

Kumusta naman ang love life mo?

“Okay naman. Love life ko ang mga apo ko.”

Okay ba kayo ng “ex” mo, ‘yung father ni Manny?

“Okay naman kami. Wala naman akong ano sa kanya. Puwede ba huwag na natin pag-usapan ‘yon? Sixteen years na akong walang asawa. Happy na ako magtingin sa mga apo ko. Kumpleto na ako.”

A, okay. Sa security mo naman. Balita ko marami ka raw bodyguard dahil may mga nagha-harrass sa’yo.

“Kasi maraming intriga. Sobra! Sabi nila nagsha-shopping ako ng P1 million nga pera. Sobra naman na balita!”

Peso o dollar?

“Peso. Bago ako nagpunta sa US, nagbili ako ng skinny jeans nga itim. One thousand pesos lang ‘yon. At saka mga blouse. Hindi naman mahal. Sabi ko, itigil na ang mga ganyang balita dahil nasisira ang pagkatao ko. Pagkatapos, may threat ako na kikidnapin. Matagal na akong may bodyguard. Dati dalawa. Ngayong may threat ako, apat na.”

Balita ko tatlo daw ang cell phone n’yo.

“A, ang CP ko? Oo, tatlo. Iba-iba ang number. Dala ko palagi lahat. Isa Globe, isa Smart at isa TM.”

Noong 60th “debut” mo, kung ilang beses ka nagpalit ng gown.

“Lima ang damit ko. Dalawang gown at tatlo ang pang-dancing. Para daw ako nag-debut na 18 years old. ‘Yung sa akin, debut na 60! Hahahaha!”

A, so hindi ka nakapag-debut noong 18 years old ka?

“Hindi, eh.”

Naaalala mo ba kung saan ka nandoon noong nag-18 years old ka?

“Nakalimutan ko na. May asawa na ako noon. Nang nag-asawa ako, 16 lang ako. Nang 17 ako, nanganak na ako, ‘yung panganay kong anak na namatay. Apat ang buhay kong anak — si Sidra, si Manny, si Bobby at si Ruel, ‘yung barangay captain.”

Spoiled na spoiled ka ni Manny, ano?

“Hindi naman. Nang nakita niya ‘yung gown ko, nagulat siya. Sabi niya, ‘Mang, ‘yan ba ang isuot mo sa birthday mo?’ Sabi ko, ‘Oo.’ Sabi niya, ‘Ang ganda!’ Binigyan niya ako ng pera, malaki-laki.”

Ganoon? Magkano?

“Sobra 25 dollars.”

Ang liit!

“Twenty-five thousand dollars ‘yon. Sabi niya, ‘Kayo na ang magbili ng gusto mo, ‘Mang’.”

Naubos mo ‘yon sa shopping? Almost one million pesos ‘yon.

“Bumili ako ng mga damit, mga bag.”

Ilan na ba ang mga bag mo ngayon?

“Marami na. May mga Louis Vuitton.”

Mga gown ilan?

“Marami na rin. Dalawa galing sa US. ‘Yung iba dito lang sa Pilipinas pinagawa.”

Sa dami na rin daw ng shoes mo, talo mo na daw si Imelda.

“A, hindi naman! Simple naman ako na pagka-nanay.”

Uy, magmo-model ka daw kay Dr. Vicki Belo.

“Hindi ako. ‘Yung manugang kong si Jinkee.”

Hindi mo pa ba kailangan magpa-lipo?

“Hindi pa. Marunong naman ako mag-alaga sa katawan ko. Naga-exercise ako; naga-gym ako.”

Pero nag-i-spa ka na siempre.

“Oo naman. Madalas. Sa GenSan.”

May commercial ka na daw ba?

“Mayroon. Pero hindi pa naga-labas. Sa July 19, ilalabas na kaya mag-iikot kami sa lahat ng mga estasyon sa radyo at TV.”

Lumalabas ka sa TV at ngayon sa commercial. Sa pelikula ba lalabas ka na rin?

“Ayoko, baka mapagod ako. Okay lang sa commercial, hindi matagal.”

Sa sitcom ayaw mo?

“Ayaw ko rin.”

Bagay daw kayo magkasama ni Annabelle sa pelikula.

“Si Annabelle Rama? ‘Yung sa My Monster Mom? Napanood ko ‘yon. Uy, kilala ko si Annabelle Rama. Nanonood ‘yon ng boksing ni Manny sa Las Vegas.”

Uy, saan pala ‘yung Rolex na birthday gift sa’yo ni Manny? Bakit hindi mo suot?

“A, tinago ko. Muntik kasi natanggal kanina n’ung naga-praktis kami ng dancing. Baka malaglag uli, masira. Sayang. Mahal pa naman. 300,000 ‘yan.”

Dollars?

“Hindi. Pesos.”

‘Yung car na binigay sa’yo ni Manny, ginagamit mo ba?

“Oo naman.”

Kumusta ‘yung house?

“Si Manny ang nagpagawa n’un. May darating pa; ipapagawa din ni Manny. Doon sa GenSan. Malaki. ‘Yung first na bahay namin, medyo maliit. Two hundred square meters lang.”

Ilang square meters ‘yung tatayuan ng bagong bahay?

“Six h
undred square meters.”

Kayo ba ni Jinkee okay na? May gap daw kayo noon?

“Anong gap?”

‘Yung hindi okay sa isa’t-isa.

“A, wala. Okay kami. Noong bago kasi silang kasal ni Manny, mahiyain siya. Ako, nanay, marunong magdala ng mga anak; marunong ako magdala sa kay Jinkee. Hindi na siya mahiyain ngayon. Si Jinkee nga ang nag-asikaso sa birthday ko; sila-sila.”

Sa mga pagbabago sa buhay mo, ano ang pinaka-gusto mo?

“Siempre, nagustuhan ko ang pagda-dance ko, lalo na mga fans ko. Maraming naga-hanga sa akin.”

Mayroon ka bang Fans Day?

“Wala pa. Pero proud sila sa akin. Alam ko dahil marami ang naga-greet sa akin kapag nasa mall ako.”

Kung gagawing pelikula ang buhay mo, sino ang gusto mong gumanap ng Mommy Dionisia?

“Ang gusto ni Manny, ako mismo.”

Mayroon na kayo lahat. Ano pa ba ang mahihiling mo?

“Ang hinihiling ko lang sa Panginoon, sana bigyan ako ng mahaba pang buhay para makasama ko pa ang pamilya ko, mga friends ko, mga fans ko.”

Ano ba ang tunay na Mommy Dionisia? Paki-describe nga po.

“Mabait ako. Simpleng tao lang ako. Magaling magbigay ng payo sa mga anak. Magaling magpalaki sa mga anak. ‘Yan ako.”

Source :Philstar.com

One of them kept complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man said: “You think you have family problems? Listen
to my situation.”

“A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got
married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my
stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.

And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of
her father-in-law.”

“Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.

This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son. But he was
also the son of my wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grand-son.
That made me the grand-father of my half-brother.”

“This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of
my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother. This makes my father,
the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am
my stepmother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son
is my father’s nephew & I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!”

“And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!?”

On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.”

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give back the other ten.”

So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.”

The monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.”

Man said, “What? Only twenty years? No way! Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”

So this is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing;

for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;

for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;

and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Just Click the image to enlarge

If you have anything to suggest or add more to these, feel free to post/comment.thanks

1. After 5 minutes of meeting someone really interesting you ask, “So – do you blog?”
2. Your lunch hour has become your “blog hour.” You keep a few posts tucked in your desk in case you need them during the day.
3. You think, “I can stop at any time.”
4. You ditched all your real friends for blog friends, because, well, “they understand.” You bypass Bowling Alone at the bookstore (who really cares?) while you reach for Naked Conversations.
5. You “binge blog” 3 or 4 posts at once—only to feel guilty and empty afterward.
6. You suffer from “blog envy” when another blogger posts something juicy before you do. You suffer “comment envy” when said post gets 40-something comments – the jerk!
7. You filter everything through your post-writing. You can’t watch a movie, see a play, read an article, or share a sweet moment with your child without thinking of whether it’s blog-worthy.
8. You “mental blog” while driving or on the train, and sometimes even when you are alone in the shower.
9. Your significant other suspects you are having an affair with your blog. Even when you’re alone with your special person, you do find yourself thinking what your blog might be doing right then…
10. You check your blog stats a LOT. You occasionally get up in the middle of the night and sneak a peak.
11. After reading this you are going to agree about all of this and make a post in your blog about it.